Sea Change Council Blog: Who am I...around?

Sea Change Council

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Coaching E-Med: #009

WEEK 09: Who am I…around?

Have you ever noticed how some people can fill a room with positive vibrations and energy just by walking through the door, and others, well they have a way of draining the magic out of almost any situation without even opening their mouths?

I find it fascinating to recognize just how much of our daily lives is governed by our own fluctuating energies and our interactions with the vibrations of others. And for the most part I believe the difference between the two camps is simply that some people have decided to be happy. Regardless of what life throws at them.

Reminds me of a quote I read recently:

“Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.” ~ Bob Marley

As a student of “Exceptional Living” or the seeker of an “Extra-Ordinary Life”, one of our top goals should be to surround ourselves with the people who “feel the rain”. People that are vibrant, unique, dynamic and full of life will enhance our own experiences and challenge us to reach new personal heights. If you want to be a better tennis player it helps to play with people that are better than you, people that can challenge you and teach you how to improve your game. Well that’s the same concept we want to carry into our daily lives…we want to find, attract and be around those that challenge us to play a better game.

Jim Rohn states in one of his programs that we become the cumulative average of the 5 people we hang around most. I’m not sure his statement is entirely true, however it is quite useful in gaging or forecasting our behavior in several areas of life. For example if our closest friends typically spend their leisure time camping, chances are pretty good we are going to be doing some camping too. If they read a lot or go to baseball games, probabilities are increasingly strong that we will assimilate a similar type of behavior. By the same token, if we are hanging around with people that consistently over eat or complain, live paycheck to paycheck, cheat on their taxes or even steal, chances are we will eventually not only accept it, but usually act in a similar manner.

Why? Simply stated it’s because, we begin to adjust our standards of what’s normal or acceptable behavior based on the peer pressure or the influence given and gained by our closest human contacts. (And repetition is the mother of skill)

In order to combat this subtle assault upon the life of our dreams, we must begin to pay close attention. We must become vigilant and stand as the guardians of our own thoughts and minds, of our own habits and of the influence of our own circle of family and friends. We should constantly ask ourselves the following questions:

Who am I…around?

What is that person doing to/for me? And is that ok?

(And perhaps we should also ask: What am I doing to/for them? And is that ok?)

Remember the ole adage: If you lay down with dogs you wake up with fleas. (Apologizes to my canine friends, as the truth is we can probably all benefit from time in your company fleas or not ;) The point is…

Nobody wants fleas…and while the process of eliminating some of the “dogs” in your life can be painful it is certainly a worthwhile endeavor. I understand it can be hard to implement when some of the people you need to limit or eliminate are in your own family or close circle of friends but your reward is delightfully grand, almost immediate and always awaiting your action.

I personally find it useful to categorize my personal contacts in this area a bit and while it may sound a little rough at first, I believe it important to adapt a similar structure for an “Exceptional Life”.

1. Those I need to Limit my time around – Negative relatives and friends, naysayers, critics, pessimists and people with bad habits, low personal standards, low expectations, low morals, losers….some people it’s ok to spend an hour with, but not a day.

2. Those I need to Eliminate from my life – Morally bankrupt, evil or corrupt, unwilling to listen, learn or try anything new, they just cause pain and grief - life’s to short

3. Those I need to Increase my time around – Identify those souls that are operating at the highest level, from their heart or in a fashion that you’d like to adopt as your own or that you’d like to teach and bring along on your journey.

As stated earlier, I believe one of the top priorities for Exceptional Living is to find, attract and surround yourself with like-minded individuals that are committed to the same ideals and values you hold. (While simultaneously eliminating or limiting your time with those negative forces)

Search for those people that are heading in the direction you want to go or that have already arrived. Look for those with a life whereby you create your own destiny through gratitude, service, abundance and a focused intention and attention to the details and results you are achieving.

Surround yourself with those individuals that are committed to living a life of love, of peace, of happiness, of serenity, creativity and contribution or of your own choosing. Find those people that believe in the beauty of their dreams and support you and the vision quest of your own dreams. Do this and I believe you will, (to paraphrase Thoreau) ...live a life that most will only dream of.

Namaste”

This Week’s Coach’s Challenge:

Choose whom you spend your time with wisely!

PS…..I spend a lot of time with books and great mentors on audio discs…..and I believe this counts towards my average……do you?

Until our next session,