Ask a better question, receive a better life!

Coaching E-Meds #004

Week 04: "Ask a Better Question"

Aaah, the wonderful, magical, amazing power of Questions!
And the ability for your brain to provide answers to those question, no matter what is asked of it; now that is a powerful, and potentially destructive, tool in your arsenal of human gifts. 
When used properly questions can help you create the unique and amazing life you deserve. 

When used incorrectly, thoughtlessly or without direction, they can have a devastating effect. 

Consider the destructive power of the following questions:

How come I can never lose weight? 
Why am I so broke? Or, Why does this always happen to me?
Questions like these place your focus on a “pre-supposed” problem and your lack of ability in solving it. These (presuppositions) questions pre-suppose that negative things always happen to you. Now, is this really true? Of course not! But I believe your brain will come up with an answer to any questions you ask it and If you continue to ask questions like these, your brain will tell you; because you eat too much, because your lazy, because it’s your karma, it happens to you because you deserve it. Your brain will always create answers to your questions, whether they are based in reality or not.

Now consider the constructive power of the following questions:

What can I do today to achieve my ideal weight?    (Good Question)
What can I do today to achieve my ideal weight and maintain it for life?     (Better Question)
What can I do today to achieve my ideal weight, maintain it for life, and enjoy the process of getting there.     (Great Question) 

Questions like these, will focus your mind on the solutions and point you in the direction you need to go in order to make a change. They will open your brain, and eyes, to the countless possibilities available to you and focus your mind on your inner circle, those things that you have power over.    

  “We can’t control the wind, but we can control our sails”

I believe much of our happiness comes from how we process or evaluate our lives. This process of evaluation is simply us asking ourselves a series of questions. What is the meaning of this? How does this relate to me? What will this mean to me? What should I do about this?

In other words, the kinds of questions we habitually ask ourselves, help us frame or interpret our view of the world, and to a large degree our place in it.      Ask a better question, receive a better life!

If you ask yourself, “Why do I have to do this?”   You get one set of answers. If you ask instead “How can I do this?” you get a far more resourceful set of answers. Wouldn't you agree that both questions will lead us to very different outcomes or destinations? 

Do you have a particular series of questions you should stop asking, and maybe some you should start asking yourself, Today?

Here are a few personal favorites I like to ask myself on a regular basis:

What am I thankful for today? What am I Grateful for today? 

What was the best part of today? What did I learn today?
What made me laugh and smile today?
What am I enjoying most about today, and how does that make me feel?
What am I happy about, and how does that make me feel?
What am I committed to, and how does that make me feel?
What can I do to today to be more effective tomorrow?
What did I learn today that can help me earn tomorrow?
Who do I want to be today?
How come I’m so lucky? Who can I help today?
What are my first things and have I put first things first? 
What is most important to me?
What small thing could I do today to be a better ______? 
 (Human, father, lover, brother, son, uncle, teacher, student, manager, employee, friend, etc)

What could I do today to reduce my carbon footprint and be more gentle with the earth?

What can I do today to really make a difference in the lives of those I love?

How can I do what's necessary to get the job done and enjoy the process?

This week's Coaching Challenge:

Use the power of questions to shape your life today and your destiny tomorrow ;)

Until our next session,

Teach Peace, Practice Tolerance & Promote Love!

Milan Vasic

CEO/Results Coach/Business Consultant

Sea Change Council

milanvasic@msn.com

323-574-4561

The Triad - Focus, Physiology & Language

Coaching E-Meds: #003                                                     

WEEK 03:      The Triad – Focus, Physiology & Language

Good Morning,

Possibly the most important tool in our Successful Living Toolbox™ is the ability to control our emotions on a consistent basis. Our emotional states govern the quality of our lives and even more specifically how we feel in the “now” or act in any given moment.

We can allow our emotional states to ebb and flow, with the whim of the winds of chance and circumstance, or by riding our own delusions, or maybe steeped in the opinion of others: Or we can take emotional control of our lives by recognizing our own power to act upon the 3 major factors that govern how we feel.

First of all, recognizing and/or understanding that, how we feel at any given moment is a result of our mental FOCUS, brings us one step closer to understanding our current emotional state. If we truly want to change how we feel, it happens simply by identifying and then altering what our brains are consistently focused upon. 

And make no mistake about it; our ability in any moment to decide and change what our minds are focused upon is a unique and powerful human ability.

“The human mind is fascinating….I mean we don’t have to fly south in the winter….If South doesn’t look too good, we can decide to go North” ~ Jim Rohn

Think of it in this way…your mind is like a camera*, and it’s constantly taking pictures, and the pictures you’re taking, the images you’re developing; dramatically affect the way you feel. Start taking the pictures that focus your life on the things you want to feel; on the places you want to go, instead of the things you don’t want to feel. Find the good in your life and point the camera at all the positive things happening around you. Since you’re the photographer you have a choice.

By controlling your focus, you control your feelings. Why not focus on what’s good in your life, what your grateful for and what you can do to make it better for someone else? Why not focus on the solution instead of the problem. Why not focus on what you really want to do and be and what you are truly capable of accomplishing? Why not? You’re going to get older anyway… and the time’s going to pass.

“Where focus goes, energy flows” ~ Tony Robbins

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The Second area, in which we have the ability to shift how we feel, or our emotional state, and thereby immediately improve the quality of our lives, is through our own Physiology. How we use our physical bodies dramatically affects how we feel.

We all can quite simply change how we MOVE and we’ll change how we FEEL!

Think about it…if I told you I had a friend that was extremely depressed, could you describe her? What is her posture like? How does she breathe? How does she move? What is she focused on or thinking about? My guess is that without even knowing her you could physically describe her because we all know how to create the emotion of depression. We all know the recipe for sadness. We all know how to use our own bodies to feel miserable and down. We also know how to physically create the recipes for joy, happiness and success even though often times we use them far less. We all know how to dance and we all know how to die and it’s up to us to decide which recipe we will use today?

You can’t feel depressed when you are smiling, it doesn’t work. Why? Because you are sending completely opposite signals to your brain, which can only process one signal at a time, and the physical act of smiling overwhelms the mental or emotionally based “weaker in the moment” state of depression.

I believe that successful people recognize clearly that – Motion Creates Emotion! They understand:         How we use our bodies affects how we think; how we think affects how we feel; how we feel affects how we act; and how we act affects how we connect and/or respond to our world.                   Read that again!

Motion Creates Emotion – And there are tried and true Recipes for Success – In other words, there are specific actions you can take that will make you feel amazing, unstoppable, and absolutely vibrant. Why not adopt the Posture of Providence and explore the recipes for the emotions you want to experience?

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And finally, the Third arena to enact change or directly control our emotional states lies in our ability to clearly articulate or express ourselves, or more specifically: Our choice and use of Words.

Language is another powerful tool in the Successful Living Toolbox™ and our choices here can define not only our own futures, but also our public personas and what we consider “with-in the realm of possibility”.

We don’t have the time or space here for an in-depth discussion on this topic, so for now just consider a few of my favorite statements and quotes as an example, or food for thought this week on the power of WORDS:

“The word becomes the flesh” ~ Deepak Chopra   

“Whether you say you can or you can’t, you’re right”

“Change your words and you change your life”

“Be impeccable with your words…for the words you choose, choose you”  ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Many a man is held prisoner or prophet by his words…. ~ James Allen

Using the words, “I can’t, I won’t or I don’t know how” vs. “I can, I will or “I’ll figure it out somehow” will lead us to very different outcomes.

~

The Inuit who have roughly 80 different words for our word “Snow” – and thereby are able to articulate delicate and subtle differences that you and I can’t access with our limited vocabulary.

Why not add a few new words to your success vocabulary today. Like…. Unstoppable, Resourceful and Energetic!

Remember, our words can create and define our lives and our memories, let’s choose them wisely.

This Week’s Coach’s Challenge:

Try out the Triad. Practice changing your emotional states by

Flexing your power in each of these areas:

1.     Focus              =          Think like a ______?_____(Winner)

2.     Physiology      =          Move like a ______?_____(Athlete)

3.     Language       =          Speak like a ______?_____(Scholar)

 Until next week, 

Teach Peace, Practice Tolerance and Promote Love ~ and feel free to pass these emails on 

Milan Vasic

CEO/Results Coach/Business Consultant

Sea Change Council & Coaching

323-574-4561

Success Leaves Clues!

Coaching E-Med: #002

Week 02:       “Success Leaves Clues”

Successful people aren’t successful by chance.

They’re successful by choice. They make very conscious decisions about how to use their time, their minds and their body’s energy to create very specific outcomes. Those outcomes, which they desire.  They don’t leave things to chance. Instead they take consistent action towards the object of their desire until they have obtained it.

And you, (already know how to…) can learn to do the same thing.

You too, can achieve anything you set your mind to, in a much quicker time frame than you might currently believe possible.

First, by role modeling the behavior of those who have already achieved whatever it is you’re after. (There’s know need to re-invent the wheel….just follow their recipe ;)

And second by focusing your energy on your intended outcome and taking consistent action to overcome any obstacles currently in your way.

Money, Freedom, Love, Health…whatever you desire, can be yours. 

Because, Success leaves Clues – and there are examples all around us of people living Extra-Ordinary lives, simply by demanding more from themselves than most would ever expect and taking specific daily actions to accomplish their goals. If you earnestly apply the same principles they used to achieve these results, (i.e. raise your own standards – plant the same seeds) you’ll undoubtedly reap the same rewards.

Take a closer look at the people in your life, (past and present) especially those that you feel are successful in your own terms. How do they Act? What standards do they have/hold? How do they talk? How do they dress? What do they read? How do they live? Where do they go? What do they eat? What do they do to stay healthy, wealthy and wise? Begin modeling their actions and behaviors and see what starts to manifests in your own life ;)

Namaste' 

This Week’s Coach’s Challenge:

Immediately adopt 2 new behaviors modeled after the successful/dynamic people in your own life! 

 – In other words: Do what they Do!

In the dual nature or yin and yang fashion of the #2 – perhaps it’s appropriate to start something new and stop something old.

 (Start a new exercise routine/stop eating donuts or drinking alcohol for 30 days)

 (Start a new journal/stop whining or watching so much TV)

(Start a garden/stop eating meat) (Spend more time with family/stop hanging out with losers)

(Start Reading/Stop over-acting) (Start Loving/Stop Hating)

PS… “If you're trying to become successful I suggest you Stop doing what the unsuccessful people do…don’t read what they read, don’t go where they go, don’t watch what they watch and don’t do what they do – This stuff is pretty easy really"     ~ Jim Rohn

 Until next week, 

Teach Peach, Practice Tolerance and Promote Love!   

~ Milano"

The Universe is Conspiring in Your Favor!

Coaching E-Med #001
A Monday Morning Email Meditation - 
Week #01 - The Universe is Conspiring in Your Favor!

Good Afternoon,

Did you know the average person has something like 70,000 thoughts per day. The troubling part is, that about 95% of those thoughts are the same ones they had yesterday and the day before, and for most people, the majority of those thoughts aren't positive or supporting an image we'd need to hold of ourselves in order to achieve an Extra-Ordinary Life.

"We need new dreams tonight"  ~  Bono       

The truth is, most people have a very negative Self Dialog routine that begins the moment they wake up.....they talk to themselves in the shower or look at themselves in the mirror each morning and run a series of questions that steals their confidence and robs them of any real power in their day. 

(saying things like - why do I have to do this? I don't feel good? Why do I have to get up so early? I don't wont to go to work, I look tired, fat, sad, bloated, etc. - prevents them from accessing their real emotional power  - stay out of the trap:)

For an Extraordinary Life, we need to not only avoid this destructive habit, but also counter balance all the disempowering thoughts we encounter each day, with some new empowering ones.

One easy way to accomplish this is by replacing our usual mindless self dialog with some new self-directed empowering questions designed to access our more resourceful states:                     (here are few of my favorites)

"What am I Grateful for?" 

"Who do I love and who loves me?"

"What do I want to accomplish today?"

"How can I be of service, who can I help today?"

"How can I make a difference in a positive way?"

Do you have a few questions you'd like to start asking each day, or a few you need to STOP?

How could your life improve right now from changing just your self dialog or adding a few simple questions to your day?

Another great way to tip the scale in your favor is through the use of Affirmations, Incantations, Mission Statements and Mantra's. 

I've used these tools for years with rewarding results and as your coach I highly recommend you try incorporating them into your daily routine. (I've listed a few examples below and attached a list of Anthony Robbins inspired Affirmations)

Affirmations/Incantations

All I need is within me now!

Everyday in every way, it's getting better and better!

The Universe is conspiring in my favor!

I am seeking the Expansion of Happiness while playing in the field of all possibility! 

The wealth of my creator circulates throughout my life and flows to me in Avalanches of Abundance!

Mission Statements 

To live, To love, To learn, To Leave a Legacy ~ S. Covey

Everyday above ground is a good day  ~  Serbian wisdom

To love, to laugh, to learn, to dance and sing and serve, to create, celebrate and appreciate every day of my life  ~  MV

We'll get into more detail about Mantra's and Mission Statements in a future session. For now, just think...

How could creating your own Mission Statement or adding a few Incantations and Affirmations to your day dramatically increase your emotional resiliency and improve your overall daily mood?

Start repeating your favorite affirmation(s) at least 25 times per day (I do this in my head and out-loud while running/exercising;) and report back next week with your results. 

This week's coaches challenge:

THINK about what you're Thinking about ;)

 

Until our next session,

Teach Peach, Practice Tolerance and Promote Love!!!

Milan Vasic

CEO/Results Coach/Business Consultant

Sea Change Council

milanvasic@msn.com

323-574-4561