Sea Change Council Blog: Ask a better question, receive a better life!

Coaching E-Meds #004

Week 04: "Ask a Better Question"

Aaah, the wonderful, magical, amazing power of Questions!
And the ability for your brain to provide answers to those question, no matter what is asked of it; now that is a powerful, and potentially destructive, tool in your arsenal of human gifts.
When used properly questions can help you create the unique and amazing life you deserve.

When used incorrectly, thoughtlessly or without direction, they can have a devastating effect.

Consider the destructive power of the following questions:

How come I can never lose weight?
Why am I so broke? Or, Why does this always happen to me?
Questions like these place your focus on a “pre-supposed” problem and your lack of ability in solving it. These (presuppositions) questions pre-suppose that negative things always happen to you. Now, is this really true? Of course not! But I believe your brain will come up with an answer to any questions you ask it and If you continue to ask questions like these, your brain will tell you; because you eat too much, because your lazy, because it’s your karma, it happens to you because you deserve it. Your brain will always create answers to your questions, whether they are based in reality or not.

Now consider the constructive power of the following questions:

What can I do today to achieve my ideal weight?    (Good Question)
What can I do today to achieve my ideal weight and maintain it for life?     (Better Question)
What can I do today to achieve my ideal weight, maintain it for life, and enjoy the process of getting there.     (Great Question)

Questions like these, will focus your mind on the solutions and point you in the direction you need to go in order to make a change. They will open your brain, and eyes, to the countless possibilities available to you and focus your mind on your inner circle, those things that you have power over.

  “We can’t control the wind, but we can control our sails”

I believe much of our happiness comes from how we process or evaluate our lives. This process of evaluation is simply us asking ourselves a series of questions. What is the meaning of this? How does this relate to me? What will this mean to me? What should I do about this?

In other words, the kinds of questions we habitually ask ourselves, help us frame or interpret our view of the world, and to a large degree our place in it. Ask a better question, receive a better life!

If you ask yourself, “Why do I have to do this?” You get one set of answers. If you ask instead “How can I do this?” you get a far more resourceful set of answers. Wouldn't you agree that both questions will lead us to very different outcomes or destinations?

Do you have a particular series of questions you should stop asking, and maybe some you should start asking yourself, Today?

Here are a few personal favorites I like to ask myself on a regular basis:

What am I thankful for today? What am I Grateful for today?

What was the best part of today? What did I learn today?
What made me laugh and smile today?
What am I enjoying most about today, and how does that make me feel?
What am I happy about, and how does that make me feel?
What am I committed to, and how does that make me feel?
What can I do to today to be more effective tomorrow?
What did I learn today that can help me earn tomorrow?
Who do I want to be today?
How come I’m so lucky? Who can I help today?
What are my first things and have I put first things first?
What is most important to me?
What small thing could I do today to be a better ______?
(Human, father, lover, brother, son, uncle, teacher, student, manager, employee, friend, etc)

What could I do today to reduce my carbon footprint and be more gentle with the earth?

What can I do today to really make a difference in the lives of those I love?

How can I do what's necessary to get the job done and enjoy the process?