Sea Change Council Blog: The 7 Habits

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Coaching E-Med: #007

WEEK 07: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

“Come on, lucky 7…come on big daddy, give me a 7……baby needs new shoes…bring on the big money and no whammies”…and with that she superstitiously blew on the bones, rolled them across the velvet and lost her entire month’s paycheck on a crap shoot.”

Gambling is a learned behavior, a conditioned response or habit formed by repetition and emotional intensity, and the character uttering the words above (from a script I’m writing) had certainly formed a deeply conditioned, habitual pattern that was now actually completely controlling her life, everything she did revolved around this one habit, (that had clearly become an addiction) and it dominated everything in her life, including her thoughts, actions and vocabulary.

Not exactly the kind of successful habit we’d want to adopt for an Extraordinary Life. And certainly not an example of Exceptional Living, at least not in my book. Still this little narrative does point out just how powerful habits can become in our lives.

(Potentially leading us to addiction, disease and even death)

Our current culture seems to thrive on “dirty laundry” and the mass media has done such a job at manipulating the truth and highlighting mostly the negative human condition, that I believe most of us already know which habits we should avoid at all costs. Most of us have a pretty clear understanding of the habits that lead to poverty, addiction, loneliness and disaster. We see and experience them everyday.

I also believe there are many out there that may not know the habits necessary for successful living, as these examples and stories seem to be rather scarce or even non-existent in our current paparazzi culture.

So let’s take a look beyond the 7 deadly sins – beyond the mistakes and bad habits of our forefathers, beyond our current fascination with the perversions and misfortunes of others and reflect upon what is perhaps their opposite...or at least some healthy alternatives to the depths of darkness and despair that conditioning the wrong kinds of habits will bring to fruition in our lives.

Let’s take a look at some habits that can really make a huge, positive impact in our lives and the lives of those around us. Habits that have stood the test of time. Habits that can give us control of our lives and help us set our sails in any direction we choose, regardless of which way the wind is blowing.

Are you ready? Good, cause here we go:

In his brilliant work “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Stephen Covey lays the groundwork for an Extra-Ordinary Life by teaching us the habits required for effectiveness and productivity. This happy little Mormon developed a really thought provoking, insightful look into the minds of some of the most productive people on the planet. He studied years of success material and what he calls the “Wisdom Literature” before proposing the 7 Habits, which met with instant success and has prompted dozens of offspring and shoots.

A multimillion copy best seller “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” is my #1 Business and Personal Development Book recommendation of all time for anyone seriously looking to make a significant change in their lives.

This book will lay the groundwork for a disciplined, productive, rewarding, well lived, Extra-Ordinary Life of your own design.

Any coach or serious student of success, worth their weight in pistachios, has surely studied the works of Dr. Covey. If not, they have some homework to do straight away…

Dr. Covey’s simple approach:

1. Be Proactive – What can you do about it? – Decide and take action toward a specific solution or desired result. Don’t wait for others – do whatever you can now.

2. Begin With the End in Mind – What’s the goal, desired object or outcome. You have to know what you want in order to achieve it. Pick your destination before you start your journey.

3. Put First Things First – What are the most important things in your life? Schedule your priorities instead of prioritizing your schedule. If you’re climbing the ladder of success make sure it’s leaning against the right building – don’t compromise your morals/ethics/values for short term gains. Judas was unhappy for a reason. If working so hard for your family means you never get to see your family, then we need to make a shift in paradigm and/or priority.

4. Think Win-Win – Do both sides benefit from this transaction? Agree to negotiate until both sides are happy or agree to disagree and move on – Good Karma – Be ethical/sustainable/cradle to cradle

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood – Begin with “Active Listening” first – Use the Native American “Talking Stick” – he who has the stick has the floor. The others must only listen, (asking questions only to clarify or further understand – not to defend in anyway) Once the person feels they’ve expressed everything they needed to, you pass the stick. That person will then repeat back what was said, confirming they understand the point of view that was offered and all the important parts. Once that is accomplished then it’s your turn to hold the Talking Stick and speak your mind until you feel understood.

6. Synergize – The idea that the energy of 2 people is far greater than 1+1=2. It’s more likely 1+1=11. (or more) In the same way that the collective power of multiple batteries is far greater than their individual energy, so too humans (and many other species) are capable of “super powers” when they combine their talents and treasures. Use the power of other people and the dynamic, creative exchange that occurs between interactive beings to come up with answers and solutions that could not otherwise be garnered. Use their strengths to improve your own. Build a TEAM of people and an open exchange of ideas and information and let love rule ;)

7. Sharpen the Saw – Don’t get so busy cutting down the tree that you forget to sharpen the saw. Take the time daily/weekly to Re-create – Renew – Reflect – Rest –Plan and prepare for what comes next. Goal setting, scheduling, exercising, recreation, dreaming, planning, thinking – these are all ways we sharpen the saw. Keep the edge by re-evaluating your actions and results on a consistent basis.

I can tell you personally, that once I started adopting these habits, my life began to change dramatically and I’ve never looked back. I feel like I was able to make extraordinary progress in a very short time frame and I’ve found these habits very useful over the years as I’ve come back to them time and time again. I hope you will have a similar experience with their application.

If you’re already familiar with Dr. Covey and the 7 Habits, I’d love to hear your take on them and what’s working for you. What is your favorite habit? Which is the hardest to keep? If you’re not, I’m excited for you and the journey of discovery that awaits your further investigation of these ideas.

Keep in mind…for the purposes of this E-Med I have just briefly described each of the habits in my own view, which can in no way give full justice to the depths of understanding that each of these 7 disciplines carries as a full discourse. This is one of those areas where you really have to do the pushups for yourself.

Read the book, apply the knowledge and reap the rewards!!!

This Week’s Coach’s Challenge:

Read the 7 Habits! - (Or listen to it in the car or the next time you clean the house:)

Use the 7 Habits - today… to shape a brighter future.

Start with one habit per day if you’d like – Using your power to focus and act.

Until our next session,